GPS for elderly parents

My 96-year-old mother’s been in a nursing home for over a year, but we can’t sell her home. Or even her 1990 Toyota Camry, which sits in the carport unused except when some of us come to visit.

My mother-in-law has been living with one of her other sons for several years now. He feels guilty but feels like he has no choice but to put her into a nursing home soon.

A friend at work is bringing her mother from four hours away to look at an assisted-living facility so she can be nearby. My friend says her mother has been indecisive, one week wanting to make the move and another time wanting to stay where she is.

Indecisiveness seems to capture this stage of life. Elderly parents know they need to change their living situation to one that works better for their stage of life, yet they cling to the familiar. Children want their elderly parents to be safe, yet don’t want to be pushy or force them into an uncomfortable environment.

Selling the car or the house carries a sense of finality with it. She won’t ever drive again. She’ll never live in her own home.

It’s a passage of life—and not one that any of us looks forward to, for ourselves or our parents.

But the psalmist said, “all the stages of my life were spread out before you [God], the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day” (Psalm 139:16, Message).

Helping parents make decisions—or making the choice for them—as they near the end of life is not easy. God doesn’t give us the Google maps directions: “Turn left at the next light.”

But He does promise that He knows each day of our life, and He will be with us as we make these choices.